Why does it have to be this hard?

I have been working really hard at keeping my thoughts focused on the positive. I have dealt with the sadness that came with our miscarriage, the fact that getting pregnant the "regular" way is not just ever going to be possible for us. Going to acupuncture, and Dr's, and Ultrasounds, and blood work....

You listen to the Dr and try and do what they say. However, when they in turn are not doing what they say they will do it is frustrating, dare I say infuriating. When you start IVF you get a very specific list of instructions. We were told that we would use the same dosage Thursday through Saturday. On Sunday, would be very important that we go all the way down to the office to get an ultrasound and blood work. They would get the results back the same day and they would call us to let us know what our dosage should be and to schedule the same testing for Monday.

Well, I patiently carried that cell phone around all day yesterday. No call. I left a message supposed nurses "hotline" at 5:00 last night. No call. We went ahead with the same dosage we have been doing and hoped for the best. I tried to call the office at 7:30 this morning to see if we could get in for testing today before the 8:00 cutoff. No answer. When I called back to try and speak to someone they told me I would have to leave a message on the "hotline" again. It has now been two hours since that message. No call.

When we chose our clinic I was under the impression that they were one of the best in Colorado. What if I was wrong?

Here we are four days into injecting medications into my system that as we speak are swelling my ovaries. Now, no one will return a call. I know that I have missed one day of testing. I may be giving myself the wrong dosage of medication. I may not even get an appointment scheduled for tomorrow morning. I am horrified.

This is not good, it is not good at all.