Friday, November 19, 2010

I Will Not do It!

So, right from the very beginning I told my self that I absolutely would not take a home pregnancy test. We had to do the HCG booster shots and I am certain that a false positive only to find out we are not pregnant would be too much to take.

I have to be honest, the wait is really starting to get to me. I still have in my possession a Costco type arsenal of home pregnancy tests in my bathroom. Yesterday, I could feel my will wavering as I approached the bathroom. I even took a test out and started to open it up. It would have been so easy! Alas, reason prevailed and I put the package back in the cabinet.

Am I like an addict? Why do I still have pregnancy tests there-screaming my name? Am I glutton for punishment? Am I overly dramatic-yes on that count!! We went to dinner with my family last night and they have threatened to confiscate the contraband if I do not behave.

There was a woman leaving the Dr's office this morning crying. It was so sad, I don't know her story at all but it really touched me. We all have similar, yet different stories; but the pain is the same.

Here is where things stand, blood work this morning and blood work on Monday. They should have the results Monday afternoon and I will know one way or another. My resolve is strong! I will not POAS this weekend, I will not POAS this weekend!!

I will keep my thoughts positive and just keep visualizing that little baby or two that hopefully will be home with us this time next year.....

4 comments:

  1. Oh good heavens, dear woman!

    If you are in the 2ww you should stay the HELL OFF MY BLOG!!!

    Or, perhaps you have been there and it has given you a deep seated fear of POAS....

    It will be a long, long weekend. My heart is with you.

    Make one for the senior team, ok? I want to see you pregnant and then with a healthy baby.

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  2. I hope I have the strength to hold on as well, I may not! I like that our betas are Monday-hopefully it'll be good luck for both of us. I am just nervous. This has been one insane ride to be sure.

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  3. I can't believe you had your first beta draw and you haven't POASed yet. You have such resolve! I swear Conceptions is the only clinic out there that holds out on results til the second beta. And for me, they called almost at the end of their work day. I hope it's happy news on Monday!

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