Exhausted

The plan today was to try and take it easy as much as possible in preparation for our egg retrieval tomorrow. Good luck with all that!

As I sit here and look at the bruises the needles have left all over my body this week; tomorrow's procedure weighs heavily on my mind. Surgery is always a little frightening. I know that at last count there were ten follicles, surely that would not produce ten eggs. Maybe half that? Of that half, how many eggs would be good? Maybe half that? Of that half, how many embryos will be left to implant at five days? Maybe half that?

So many pills, so many injections, so many Doctor's appointments. All of this culminates in the combination of the procedure we will have tomorrow and the one we will hopefully be having five days later.

For some reason, I have not slept well this week. It could be the menopur and the bravelle. It could be the fact that I was born a worrier and these scenarios are running through my brain way too much! All this leaves me feeling a level of exhaustion I have not experienced before. Not just physical exhaustion but emotional exhaustion as well.

This is too important; I cannot go into this surgery run down. I am going to force myself take a deep breath, relax, close my eyes and just picture myself with the baby that I know in my heart of hearts that Bill and I are destined to have.