Sunday, November 21, 2010

Insomnia Again?


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I used to sleep like a log. I had this weird thing where I would fall asleep until my head hit the pillow until the alarm went off the next morning. I used to joke with people that I had narcolepsy. For some reason, ever since my miscarriage I cannot sleep through the night. This is even more true since starting IVF.

I am not sure if the arsenal of medications that you take to try and support a pregnancy are adding to my insomnia. Probably not. My mind is racing. There is so much involved physically, financially, and emotionally to pursue IVF. Bill and I both want this to work in the worst way. To know that in one day, we will find out if by some miracle we will be the lucky couple who gets pregnant on their first cycle. I have done enough research and follow enough blogs to know that is not typical. Especially not typical for someone my age.

I am afraid the next 24 hours will be one of the longest in my lifetime. I know one thing for sure, right or wrong we will have an answer shortly and that is a good thing!

I am a big believer in working hard to maintain a positive attitude though. Believe me, many times throughout this process that has been hard work. So, I am going to take me, the twins, and my positive attitude back to bed and try and get a little sleep.

Wish us luck!

4 comments:

  1. I'm going to say to you the same thing I just said to One Good Egg... I SOOOO want you to have a wonderful beta tomorrow!!! I want it for you... and I want it for inspiration as I move into the stim phase of my first (and hopefully only) IVF. Good luck!!!

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  2. Hang in there, we're praying for you! Have you tried meditation? I used to have awful insomnia.. I used to blame it on not having a bed time as a kid (note to all us future or current mothers out there!), but I think that as I got older it had more to do with the non-stop panic and thinking racing through my brains till 5am. Meditation really helped. I either sit in bed, or stay laying on my back, and start by counting breaths - 1 in, 2, out, 3 in, etc. up to ten. Then start over. If that's not working, I do a visual meditation where I first think of the color white. Then I try to visualize all the white things I can. Then I move onto the next color and visualize those things..

    And my final trick is - if I really can't get the thoughts to stop, I make a mental keyboard. And I force myself to move my eyes to spell out the words I'm thinking on the keyboard. Does that make sense? So, if I'm thinking "does that makes sense?" I first move my eyes to the d than the o than the e than the s, etc. That usually knocks me out because I spend more effort finding the letters than thinking the thoughts, even though I'm a crazy fast typist.

    Let me know if you try them out :)

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  3. i understand. when i am supposed to relax, i am so anxious. People do get pregnant on their first cycle. why not you?

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  4. Holding thumbs, crossing fingers, toes and arms (but not legs - sorry!) for a brilliant beta today!

    May this be the happiest ICLW ever!

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