IVF is definitely not for the faint of heart. It requires a lot of commitment. Commitment of time, of money, and lets not forget the emotional commitment. The road that Bill and I have taken, is not easy. Sure, we could have said no children but that was not what felt right for us.
I felt the emotional toll it can take when my husband got home last night. He was at a customers house late, got home a few minutes after we were supposed to do the injections. When he came upstairs I could see the panic in his face. He felt like he had failed me. Of course, this is impossible. This man, who is giving me injections nightly in spite of a fear of needles had not failed me. It absolutely broke my heart to see him so stressed out. I told him that it was okay and we were going to be okay.
I know that as we go through this process we will need to support each other. I think that the weight of the IVF process will weigh heavily on both of us at different times and in different ways.
I do feel very lucky today. Lucky that we live in a time when science can help us. Lucky that I have insurance that will cover the IVF. Lucky that I am spending my life with someone as amazing as my husband and someone who would do absolutely anything for me. Very lucky, indeed.
You know, we are going to be okay.