We are Finally Here

As of yesterday, there were still five embryo's. Which in itself is pretty amazing to me. I was worried that only one or two would make it until today.

We will need to go into the Conceptions office at 10:45 this morning. We are doing acupuncture before and after the procedure. I figured if we were doing this IVF thing why not go at it with both barrels. I have done so much research I could probably give someone an Egg Transfer next month. Uhhh, maybe not.......

After today's procedure I will need to be on bed rest for three days. I tried to get everything as organized as I could last night so I wouldn't be tempted to be doing things that are on the unapproved list this weekend. The unapproved list is long! I know myself and having to lay for three days is going to be a tough one for me. If I am still for a minute I will come up with something that I need to be doing.

This weekend may be a good thing for me. Force me to get some rest that I have been neglecting for what feels like months. It seems that since my miscarriage back in August I just can't sleep the way that I used to. It is interesting to me, I am not really dreaming about the miscarriage the way I used to. It still affects me in a profound way. Maybe it is the knowledge that I have no control in what will happen in the situation. Maybe it is having experienced that excruciating pain; not just physically, but emotionally. It scares me to death that I might go through it again. Deep down, it is more horrifying to me that I might never be pregnant again.

So, I push all these little fears, these little doubts aside. I know that remaining positive right now is key. I will visualize us with that new baby who will God willing be home with us this time next year.