Oh my goodness! The last few days have been rough on and off with the babies. I just think their tummies have been giving them trouble here and there. So heartbreaking, when you can tell they are in pain and nothing you are doing seems to help.
All in all, today was a pretty good day for the babies and I. It was a jungle in the diaper department though. Zoe peed on the changing table twice. I had a pooping situation when changing Zach. This means he was still quite busy when I removed the diaper. I closed the diaper down, and decided to check again in a few minutes to see if he was done yet. Of course, in addition to pooping it was time to try and improve his aim in the pee department. I closed the diaper down again, and finally the third time was the charm! I then had a pooping situation with Zoe that required, three or four diapers by the time it was done.
I have cried more than once this week, thinking that I need to be a better Mother than I am. Ever since I was little, the one thing that I knew for sure that I wanted to be when I grew up was a Mom. I think when you struggle with infertility you put horribly high expectations on yourself. Expectations that are impossible to meet. I am trying very hard to lower the bar for myself but have not succeeded as of yet. I am definitely still a work in progress.
Bill is watching the babies for me downstairs right now and I am off to bed to try and get a little nap in, I am exhausted!!
I am sure I will feel the same way. It's hard not to expect super mom status once you are finally there. I am worried I won't be able to handle it all with my twins and it makes me feel bad. I guess we just have to realize that we are taking on two at once when most people have only one to deal with. Try to be patient with yourself and ask for help when you need it.
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